Originally posted on May 27, 2016.

It’s been around 21 months since we started Operation Reproduction. Some women could’ve already had two babies and we don’t yet have one… 😦

We had a heart-breaking “almost”. In March/April, we thought we were. My cycles usually last right at 30 days, occasionally I’ll go 32 days. That’s only happened twice in the last 21 months, but the last several months have been 29 or 30 days. My cycle that was due in the beginning of April was late. It was the morning of CD 34 and still no sign of AF other than very mild cramping. I told hubby and he warned me the delay might have been stress related. (My grandpa had just passed away 4 days prior.) I really thought hubby was wrong… Everything seemed different. Then, BAM! Just 3 hours later AF made her appearance. Damn. I was pretty upset, but not surprised.

On the positive side, in April I got offered a new job! It’s in the field of my schooling (mental health/counseling). My first day was May 2nd and I love it so far! The benefits are awesome, the pay is good, and the flexibility is… top-notch. When I was filling in my husband and my best girlfriend after I got the offer, one of the first things they said is that it would be a great job to have when we DO get pregnant because the set-up is pretty perfect since I essentially work from home when I am not meeting with clients. So, that is pretty exciting.

In addition to my new job, hubby also got a new job with less of a commute, better hours, better benefits, and more opportunities for promotions. He started this week and he really likes it.

One more blessing that God has brought us since my last post… a house. 🙂 We purchased a home and moved in the beginning of March.

With God so visibly working and moving in our lives these last few months, that has helped tremendously with my patience in this process. My faith is being renewed. I know and I SEE that the Lord has a plan for us and our future family. He’s moving the chess pieces to just the right spots.

Having said that, I still have “my days” when I get frustrated that God’s timing isn’t quicker and I start to feel sorry for myself. For example, when I get on Facebook and see that my married LESBIAN friend has conceived before me… Say what?! Not only do they have extra “barriers” that Hubby and I don’t have, but we had a 7 month headstart on this whole baby-making venture. I grumbled in my spirit and sulked in my envy for a couple of days before coming back to earth and realizing that God’s plan for me is different than for others… and that’s okay. It’s not a competition… even though it feels like it sometimes!

Still, I am optimistic that a pregnancy will happen this year. I told my husband we needed to do something to bring in the “baby mojo”. I told him I wanted to paint the room of the house that we have already designated as the future nursery. I thought he might think I was nuts, but he actually agreed to it AND he helped me pick out a color. We opted for something gender-neutral and something that doesn’t scream “nursery”. That way if other people come visit, they won’t think we’ve lost our minds or that we’re going to kidnap their kids. Tomorrow, we’re going to start painting it! I’m excited! It makes it seem more tangible. I’ll post pictures when it’s finished.

So, I think we’re in a good place right now and I’m trusting God’s timing…

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